Ring, ring, ring.

I have a love/hate relationship with the phone.

There's nothing like catching up with an old friend over a phone conversation filled with laughter. I love hearing voices that I haven't heard for a while. The encouraging phone call I got from my great aunt the other day gave me some much-needed perspective. I'm comforted knowing I can call my mom when I'm breaking down, and she can hear in my voice that I need her. Phone calls can be a good thing.

But...these days the phone is daunting. Really daunting. I love all of the messages we've been getting, but I can't seem to find the energy to return the calls. They're looming over my head. I should probably just have someone hold the baby for a while and spend some time returning calls, but it's just not my greatest priority right now. And I keep missing calls (something about diaper changes and feedings and loading the baby in the car and weird sleeping schedules). Each time I miss one, I feel a little panicked that it's one more call to worry about returning. Every once in a while, I get a message that says, "You don't need to call me back," and the relief is almost palpable.

This morning, when the ringing home phone woke Klara and me up from our much-needed morning snooze, I just cried. I hate that thing. I think we're going to turn the ringers off today and just be. We're not leaving the house, we're not entertaining visitors, and we're definitely not returning calls.

Babies don't keep, you know.