Hiii-yuh

I’m not much for chatting with random strangers in the grocery store. I do most of my shopping at Trader Joe’s, and I always dread the requisite Trader Joe’s “small talk” while checking out. Klara usually provides enough of a buffer that it’s bearable, but now she’s creating problems of her own.

Klara has taken to talking to strangers. She waves, smiles a cheesy smile, and says, “Hiiiiiiiii-yuh” to anyone nearby. If the person acknowledges her, she repeats the “Hiiiiiiiii-yuh” over and over, sometimes shouting to that same person across the store. It gets awkward.

She always seems to seek out the person I’d least like to talk to. Today she said “Hiiiiiiiii-yuh” to a lady in the produce section.

Klara: Hiiiiiiiii-yuh

Lady: Hi! Well, aren’t you cute? What a sweetie! How old is she?

Me [smiling, but trying to focus on my shopping and not make much eye contact]: She’s 15 months.

Lade: Fifteen months! That’s just the best age! It’s so much fun.

Me: Yeah, I’m really enjoying this age. She’s a lot of fun.

Klara: Hiiiiiiiii-yuh

Lady: She must know it’s almost Christmas. She’s being so friendly.

Me: [courtesy, non-committal chuckle]

[Lady walks away, and I think I’m finished.]

[Lady walking back toward us.]

Lady: I’m getting ready to check out. I’d like to get her a little treat, if that’s okay. She’s just so sweet.

Me [Is this really happening!?]: Aw. That’s sweet, but she really doesn’t need a treat. Thanks, though.

Lady: Really?! I’d just like to get her something.

Me [making more eye contact]: Thanks, but she doesn’t need it.

[Lady walks away.]

[Lady comes back.]

Lady: I got her these gummy bears. I paid for them already. [Shows receipt.] This was all they had for kids at the checkout. They’re really not that bad, though. They have no preservatives, and they’re made with real cane sugar. See, no high fructose corn syrup. [Hands bag of gummy bears to Klara.] These are for you! They’re a special treat! Share them with your mom and dad.

Me: Klara, say thank you to the nice lady. Thanks. That was really sweet of you.

I wanted to be annoyed. She was so freaking obnoxious...but she was so nice. I left giggling to myself, and I had the least awkward check-out ever. The cashier and I got to talk about the lady and more appropriate snacks for a 15-month old. He approved of the things I was buying and told me he tried to point her to those, but she insisted on the gummy bears.

I wonder if this is her M.O. or if Klara's Christmas spirit just got the best of her.

I'm having anxiety about taking Klara back to the store. At least I have gummy bears to snack on tonight.