The story

When I was pregnant, I couldn't read enough birth stories. It helped me to feel less fearful knowing that so many other women were doing the same thing--in their own ways. If you're not the birth story type, you've been warned...time to move along :) Here's mine:

Monday at around 5:00, Kimberly and I were at the grocery store (laughing about how all of the junk food looked so good to our gross pregnant appetites), and I mentioned that I was having lots of contractions, but they didn't really hurt. She tried to convince me "this was it," and I was feeling a little giddy.

I went home and pulled up an online contraction timer and realized that they were somewhere between two and four minutes apart. They were short, though, and didn't feel painful enough to get me to the hospital. I texted my always-on-call nurse (Breanna) and asked her what she thought. She told me that there was no reason to rush to the hospital. I then called my mom and told her I thought I was in labor, so she better come over.

The contractions were getting stronger and were mostly three minutes apart, but they were still short. At this point, I was tearful and scared, rather than excited, because I was worried about the timing with the hospital. I didn't want to go too soon, but I definitely didn't want to get there too late. Why didn't my experience just fit into the guidelines my doctor (and everyone else) gave me for "when to go to the hospital?"

My mom and I went on a walk (more of a sidewalk pacing because neither of us wanted to venture too far from home), and then I asked her if we could go on a drive. By the time we were in downtown Livermore, sitting in the car was really painful (the contractions had moved to my back at this point), and I told her that she needed to turn around so we could pack the car and be ready to go to the hospital if we needed to.

We decided to watch a movie (8 Seconds, one of my go-to comfort movies), but I was hopping off the couch every few minutes to walk through (or bend over the counter through) contractions, so watching a movie wasn't exactly working out. I hit a point emotionally where I knew it was time to go to the hospital, so we got in the car and headed out at about 10:30.

Within a few minutes of checking into our room, the nurse assured my mom that I would not be going home at this point, and it was a safe bet to get my things from the car. I was full of energy and excitement again, knowing that it was actually going to happen! Then she checked me and told me I was only 1.5 centimeters, and I almost cried. She assured me that this wasn't the only way to mark my progress and I was, indeed, making good progress.

Because the contractions were in my back, I couldn't sit or lie down, so I stood and swayed--all night. I would close my eyes and silently go somewhere else to make it through the contractions. I found that I needed silence (which everyone was so intuitive about!) and to feel unwatched (I did so much better when the monitor was off) to have the most success. At one point, my mom offered me my iPod, and within three seconds of having the ear buds in my ears, I ripped them out because the music was NOT helpful. I just needed silence!

The nurse who cared for me during the longest part of my labor was amazing. She knew that I wanted to avoid pain medications if at all possible, and she was so supportive. She kept telling me how wonderful I was doing and how peaceful I seemed. When I hit a wall at seven centimeters and felt like I wasn't going to make it through, she sent me to the shower. I came out relaxed and ready for the rest of my labor. I can't thank her enough for that suggestion and expertise that told her it would help me. It was definitely a turning point that could have gone in a completely different direction.

When the nurses changed shifts, I cried to my mom that I couldn't do it without my nurse, Cortney. Cortney promised me that the next nurse, Tiffany, was just as wonderful, and she was, indeed, wonderful. She was more no-nonsense, but she knew her stuff, and I was glad she was there when they had concerns about Klara's heartbeat later on.

After a few contractions that I thought would do me in, I was really discouraged and feeling like it would never be over! I told my mom, "I need a shot of something!! I can't do this!!" and she said, "You can. You're doing great." Tiffany kept checking me and telling me that I was almost completely dilated (what she was calling a 9.5) but that I wasn't quite ready to push. I was stuck, for what seemed like forever. I kept asking her what I could do to make this be over, and she suggested Pitocin. I couldn't imagine harder and stronger contractions, but she waited for me to come to the conclusion that Pit was what I needed and wanted (with no pressure from her). I agreed to be hooked up to the IV and get that Pitocin. Before it had time to kick in,  I told her I HAD to push, so she let me push once to see if it would dilate me the rest of the way. Between the Pitocin and that push, I was finally fully dilated!

Let me tell you, pushing was the most rewarding part of labor. Finally, I could DO something about my contractions. They kept complimenting me on what a great "pusher" I was (which I attribute to the lack of pain meds, so I had complete feeling). After an hour of pushing and feeling like I was in the Twilight Zone, almost feeling like I was drifting in and out of consciousness, Klara was born Tuesday morning at 11:14.

They handed her to me for a brief second and then swept her away to make sure she was breathing okay because they had some concerns. Her brief period of silence left me in a panic, but then I heard that cry I was waiting for. While they were suctioning her and checking her and getting her on track, I sobbed. I just wanted that baby in my arms. When she was finally back on my chest, I just couldn't believe it.

She was here.