Blue.

I can't even walk across my bedroom without tripping because the floor is so covered in clothes--laundry that needs to be done or clothes that just need to be hung up. The dishwasher really needs to be unloaded, and the catalogs from the last couple of days' worth of mail are piling up on the kitchen counter. My shoes are in the middle of the living room floor, and I tripped on the phone on the way to the kitchen.

There is only one time when my house looks like this--times like now--times when I can barely drag myself up the stairs let alone keep my house tidy. Right now, I can physically feel the sadness, and it anchors me to the couch or to my bed. 

For the last couple of weeks, I've been barely functioning, let alone thriving. It might be the holidays. It might be the cold. It might be my brother. It might be spending so much time alone. I don't really know.

Whatever it is, I hope it passes quickly because it's just so heavy. 

Maybe I'll start by cleaning my house tomorrow.