The teacher across the way came to school on Monday with a beautiful, heirloom ring. She met her fiancé, a fellow teacher, on Match.com. My college friend, Megan, ran away to Vegas with a man she met on Yahoo personals. The principal at my mother’s school was recently married to a man that, you guessed it, she met online.
Kimberly insists that online dating “isn’t just for freaks anymore.” Her mom read a statistic, claiming that 85% of people who get married after the college years are meeting their spouses online. Shocked? I’m not.
So, what do you think about online dating? [I’m not asking if you think I should start pursuing online dating. I have no intention of beginning a dating relationship at this time.] In general, what do you think about it? Does it seem to be skirting around God’s plans for our lives? Something like, “Hey God, I think I know that you make things happen in your timing, but…look at all these guys. I’m going to help you out with this one!” Is online dating for the faithless, pushy folks, or is it for positive, proactive companion-seekers?
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Online dating: It's not just for freaks anymore
at 9:30 PM
Talking about relationships (of the confusing sort)
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8 comments:
You know... I can't help but think about the people who go to church, take classes, go out to clubs/bars, ask to be set up with friends of friends, etc., with the hopes of meeting someone. While I have many reservations about online dating, I don't know that I consider it to be any more pushy than other methods of socializing with the intent to meet that special someone.
All of which I would not (seriously) do. That must be my problem. I think it's funny that you just said "special someone."
Thanks for stopping by last night:) Back to essays!!
I would comment, but you already quoted me. I miss you! Can't wait to see you tomorrow! :)
P.S. Statistics aren't always accurate.
i think it's weird... although i have seen some pretty cool success stories... maybe i'm just old fashioned :) but yeah, it's weird to me
I tried Eharmony last year. It was really great! I dated a girl for 5 months that I met off there, but I realized that it wasn't going to work unfortunately. I might try it again.
The best part about Eharmony is loosing the uncertainty factor:
"Does this person want to go out with me?"
You get to know a little about the person before you even make contact with them. It's not perfect, but it is nice :)
I don't think online dating is bad or wrong, but I don't think it is ideal. I think people have turned to it as other systems and institutions that used to function better have failed or broken down.
Here are a few examples. As communities have become more isolated and people hardly ever stay in one place it has become more difficult to meet people.
Second, families are less close knit and involved in the whole process than they were for centuries (and still are in many parts of the world). Plus, families hardly know other families, and if they do the kids usually move away from each other. This makes it difficult to maintain stable, ongoing relationships that enable people to get to know peers over a long period of time that will be prospects for future marriage.
Third, the church has failed in a myriad of ways, and has turned a lot of Christians to online dating sites. I'm not saying churches should throw singles parties so they can meet and get married, or do match-making (they shouldn't). But churches should teach boys a lot better about responsibility and leadership, so they grow up to be men who want to get married and lead a family, rather than play and run from challenges and commitment. Churches should create fellowship in which young men and women can see healthy marriages and families and be inspired to that ideal, and provide meaningful and God-centered worship, ministry and fellowship, which is the ideal environment (even better than a bar or web site) for getting to know who someone really is.
Not all churches have failed in this, but too many.
I really think the main problem is men who won't take leadership and are still acting like teenagers. I know of way too many godly girls that would love to get married, and way too many guys that don't have the guts to marry them.
Great topic. I'll be interested to read any other thoughts on this.
Mark,
I agree with you 100%. I wouldn't judge those who choose online dating (nor have I ruled it out), but I agree that it's not ideal. Did you know that LDS churches have singles' wards? I don't think that's ideal, either. Church singles' groups freak me out. I would much rather be in "mixed" company, as to observe good marriages, and not feel like there's pressure to meet other singles, with the intention of meeting a partner. My favorite thing about our Sunday school class (that I fail to attend regularly) is that it's a mix of married people and unmarried people. If we (the single folk) only hang out with other single people, we idealize marriage, and make it out to be something that it's not.
Tmproff,
Good to see you around, again!
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