Ready or not.

On days when my feet are huge and I'm throwing up and I can barely keep up at the store, I just want this to be over.

I know, though, that I'm going to miss this.

Dear Baby Girl,

In some ways, we will never be closer. We have a connection that is so visceral. I love that you are safe and warm and I don't have to do much to insure that that is true. I love that I can feel your every move.

I love that I know what to do. So much is black and white right now. I read the books, they tell me how to help you grow healthy, and it's that simple. Not much is subjective--how comforting.

I love that strangers have shown an interest in us. The roundness of my belly has opened us up to advice and love and intrusion. It makes me feel like we're more connected to humanity as a whole. People care about me because they care about you. It's really beautiful, as our village is large.

I will miss this enormous belly. It's evidence of love. It's evidence of your growth. It's evidence of life. Although it gets in the way, I love it because I love you. The bigger it grows, the closer I am to having you in my arms--right where you belong.

I'm trying to cherish this time. I'm trying to remember what I love about it, but I also just want to kiss your cheeks. I don't know whether to tell you to take your time or to hurry up!

Love,

Mama