Ruined

Ashland was, as usual, lovely. I was impressed with both Hamlet (hip hop dance troupe, yes please) and Ruined. We had a delicious dinner at Loft. We stayed at my favorite hotel, Ashland Springs. We shopped in all of our favorite shops. My mom provided perfect company and plenty of laughter.

Usually, when I leave Ashland, I leave rejuvenated and ready to face life upon my return. This year, however, I'm haunted by my experience. Seeing Ruined destroyed my peaceful trip, and I'm pretty sure I'm glad it did. The play won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, and it's obvious why.

Ruined is about the civil war in the Congo, where rape is a weapon of war. It is an emotional, uncomfortable, disconcerting, enlightening journey. The play is being performed in the New Theatre (a tiny, intimate theatre), which makes the play even more jarring. I sat on an aisle seat near the front of the theatre and a scene of sexual assault took place against the railing that my arm was touching. The proximity was too much. I wanted to help her or kick him, and I kept having to remind myself that it was "only" a play. I wept. I wept mostly in the end when one of the characters, in a moment of tenderness and desperation declared, "We, and I'm speaking for men, can do better."

We don't live in the Congo. Raping women is not normalized in our culture. But, still, men can do better. Men can take responsibility for their actions. We can stop blaming victims. The way to stop rape is not for women to stop dressing provocatively or to stop drinking or to not walk alone. The way to end rape is for men to stop raping women.

As we left the play, my mom turned to me and said, "That play makes you hate men. They're all such pigs." I disagree. It reminds me that men can (and, I believe, will) do better.