"Having Dena in town was a real joy, especially since almost everyone I'd once been close to from college had gotten married. And it wasn't that you couldn't be friends with a married woman, but you weren't friends in the same way, she didn't have the same freedom in her schedule, especially not after she had children, and even before that, she didn't need you; you needed friendship, and friendship to her was an auxiliary, extra."
- Curtis Sittenfeld's American Wife
I have remarkable friends; that much is obvious.
The hardest thing about having so many friends who have different priorities (husbands) and responsibilities (children) than I do, though, is that I need them and they don't need me. They have husbands, and I have them. I crave time with my friends--time when we can be ourselves and support each other. I don't think they have any idea how much I miss them.
I used to think that, the more time I spent alone, the more accustomed to it I would become. I'm finding just the opposite to be true.
I need a support system; mine isn't built in. Being the single friend is lame--sometimes, I worry that it's just as lame for you as it is for me.
6 comments:
It's not lame for me.
You're my friend, that's all. You're not my "single" friend. I feel comfortable hanging with you with or without my hub and with or without my child. You're just that good. ;)
And, yes, I do have many many more schedule constrains now, but our last min. trips to Target, dinner, walks, etc. are just what I need to maintain my sanity. I NEED you, friend.
Thank you for making me a part of your family (and always reminding me that I have a place in your life). I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for your faithful, daily friendship. You've seriously saved my life. I love you.
I'm with Kimberly. I NEED you, too, friend. A husband and children are great, but I need my girlfriends, too. I need your support, and you need mine. And you are in no way lame in any way. Circumstances and responsibilities are different, but different doesn't mean lame.
S+S=Friends forever.
Thank you. You two have taught me so much about friendship. I'm so very lucky to have you.
Stephanie, How is fall in Chicago? I miss you. Maybe October?
You're definitely a necessary part of my life.
One of my closest girlfriends in the world is Ruth Rogers (formerly Neighbors), and she tells me EVERY time we get together that she never realized how much she NEEDED her girlfriends until she got married.
There is something pretty special that happens when girlfriends get together, and I'm pretty sure no man, or child, can replace it. (Granted, I'm not there yet, but I don't see it being a replaceable thing).
Love you Sherry :)
Love, Robin a.k.a. Auntie Rah-Rah
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