Cheers.

The last few years, I've skipped Christmas with the McGowan family. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made. It's exactly what I needed to give myself permission to do. There's one little thing about it that makes me sad, though.

I have this cousin on my dad's side of the family. Her mom is like my mom. Our moms are educated, open minded, and they're definitely not McGowans (even though they borrowed the name for a few years). My cousin went to Berkeley, she's teaching English through Teach For America, and she's naturally kind. I like her. A lot. Not seeing her is the saddest part of not spending the holidays with my dad's family.

We've been e-mailing because I'm passing some lesson plans on to her, and she told me she missed catching up, but she thought it was wise of me to bow out of the yearly Christmas-family-love-charade.

She's right. Going to Christmas doesn't mean I love my paternal family any more. It just means I'm faking it for the day. It's a duty that I've since released myself from. Sigh. Deeply.

...which reminds me of this video. My story is different from "their" story because I have incredible friends who never fail to fill in where my family leaves gaps. They know that this time of year can be unbearable for me, and they care enough to do something about it. I have had many very bleak holiday seasons, though. I can only imagine not having people to fill those gaps.

Will you notice those around you who might need a place to go, a distraction, or an extra dose of love?