I just don't get excited anymore. The more schooled in life I become, the more I understand that it just won't work.
I want to be a dreamer and a romantic again. I want to approach new situations with excitement and expectation rather than caution.
Take me back.
2 comments:
Sherry, I know that tone is nearly impossible to decipher over the internet, but please be assured that I do not ask the following question in a flippant or deriding manner. I am actually curious, and you should feel free to delete this comment if you are offended in any way.
Is there any connection between your movement away from a faith that believes in the miraculous and impossible, which culminated in triumph over death, and this developing cautiousness or pessimism?
I'm not easily offended, Raj, and I appreciate open dialogue. Thank you for wondering.
I don't consider myself a pessimist in most areas of my life; I'm still very much a dreamer when it comes to life as a whole. I have visions that could never be realized but that make my life feel more purposeful. I don't need a higher power to have a higher purpose in my life.
I'm referring specifically to dating relationships, and my pessimism comes from experience, so it's more realism than anything. I've learned to be cautious because I have been hurt so many times. I've learned not to expect/anticipate, and I hate that.
I did believe in the notion that God would grant me the (pure) desires of my heart, and, with that, I hoped (at the time) that God would provide a husband for me. I still hope that I will find a partner, but I don't expect it, anymore. I guess part of that connects to my journey out of faith.
Thanks for asking.
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