I've been thinking about love, lately.
I never imagined that I would be the last of my friends who lives alone, and I can't help but wonder why. What about me is so unlovable? I know that's not really the question I should be asking, but it's the question my soul seems to be feeling lately. My adolescent tendency to question my relationships reigns.
I'm feeling like I have two options for my future:
A.) Resign myself to a life of single-hood: Going to weddings alone, sleeping alone, worrying about impressing men, being childless, and calling my own shots. It seems to be what I know, and I think I'm okay with that, but I will have to spend my life wondering what I'm missing.
B.) Settle. It's not that all men are uninterested in me--just the ones I actually like.
I promised myself that I would never settle. My fear of being alone would not outweigh my desire for true love, I swore. I wonder, now, though if "settling" is okay, as long as the man is a "good guy." I would never tolerate abuse or laziness or apathy.
Should I tolerate, though, a lack of "spark"?
6 comments:
No.
First of all, you are totally not unlovable.
Second of all, I think the question of settling and tolerating the lack of spark are different. Sometimes I think our culture can make it seem like we need a romantic comedy type of love relationship beginning, or its not valid.
After I got engaged, Roxanna asked me two questions that I thought were great questions: Do you respect him, and would he give his life for you? I think these are more important questions than "does he give you the warm fuzzies." Not to say romance is not important or needed, just shouldn't be placed on the high pedastal that it is often placed on.
Not sure if this is what you were asking, but these were my thoughts :) Thanks for sharing yours. I can't wait to pick up your package tomorrow!
Stephanie, I agree (hence the title). I would hope, however, that it's possible to have both (at least for a time).
You will find love :). Don't settle, the man of your dreams is out there somewhere! You are an amazing person, whom cares deeply about people. You deserve the best and someday you will find him.
Sherry, I think it's possible to have both for a lifetime. I may just be an idealist, but I do know that I have been with someone who caused me to light up & my heart to dance every time he walked into the room, or knocked on my door no matter where things were with us, I was always excited for his arrival. I'll never settle for less. Of course my reaction to him was based on who he is as a man & nothing else. If that's your basis, I think the spark can always be there, sometimes stronger than others, but I think it can still always be there. You don't have to settle for less.
I would however recommend giving someone a shot. Even when the spark is there right away it can & should grow stronger over time as you get to know one another. And I'd imagine that it can build over time even if it's not there at first. At any rate I think it's worth giving a guy a chance--assuming there's not something obviously objectionable about him from the outset.
Never settle.
I am so glad I married the man whom I respect and love at the age of 34.
Until then, God allowed for me travel the world, enjoy friendships, and gain a better of understanding of what love is.
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