I like messy better than plastic.

I haven't taught non-honors freshmen since the fall of my first year of teaching, and I have them this trimester. I'm re-living those first-year emotions.

My first year of teaching, I felt very purposeful. The last few years, however, I haven't had deep, keep-me-up-at-night-worrying-about-my-students connections with many of my students. I thought it was because I'd learned to develop boundaries, but I now realize it's because I haven't had the "messy" freshmen since my first sleepless year of teaching. 

The honors kids are messy in their own ways--don't get me wrong. They just don't seem to wear their hearts on their sleeves the way these kids do, and, by the time they're sophomores, they cope differently. 

I'm already losing sleep, and I've only known these kids for three weeks. I definitely worry about some of them over the break. They need to be in school.