Let's write Open Letters in the comments of this post. Please. It will be fun. Trust me.
Go to McSweeney's for inspiration.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Signed, sealed, delivered.
at 9:48 PM
Talking about Friends, Fun on the Internet
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
This one will be short, maybe another will come later:
An Open Letter to the Cloud system, barometric pressure, and wind direction of Hue city,
I know it's been 40 years since you visited Hue, but you've overstayed your welcome and it's time to go back home. Eat poo and die.
Dear Governator,
Your proposed education budget cuts are radical and asinine. That which we need for our classrooms is now coming out of our own "budgets." Our students aren't going without. Instead, we are going without. Thanks, bud.
Dear husbands who don’t pick up their clothes,
You probably think that your wife doesn’t have a problem picking up after you because there are no complaints when you get home from work, but, because I like you, I’ll let you in on a little secret…IT INDEED BOTHERS HER. She grumbles to me and, frankly, I’m a bit sick of hearing about how your grubby underwear can’t seem to find its way into the hamper. Your wife’s life, as well as mine, would be much happier if you could take it upon yourself to put, toss, drop kick, fling, shoot, lob, scoot, or hurl your clothes into the basket once in awhile. And, if you’re confused, my husband would gladly teach you, he’s really good at it.
P.S. If you can’t find the basket, you may want to check on your side of the closet, right next to the spot you typically leave your clothes.
Dear Supervisor,
When it is slow at work, you should let your employees go home early, especially if they are on salary and doubly so if THEY ARE FALLING ASLEEP AT THEIR DESKS. Yes, I did just scream that to you. Furthermore, there is a distinct difference between "delegating" and being paid to do nothing, while your star employee carries your work load with little word of complaint. Guess what, Supervisor? I am complaining now!!! Please stop sucking at your job: either get better, or quit. Thanks.
You, me, and she:
I’ll admit it; you’ve got a few things I don’t.
Is that any reason for her to go to you? Nightly?
To you she’s just another girl!
You don’t appreciate her intricacies.
You probably don’t even know her name.
I wish sometimes she would go on about me the way she does about you to her friends.
Am I the “John”?
Have I been mistaken this whole time?
No. No!
She made a commitment to me; and I to her.
Can I excuse her? She doesn’t think it’s wrong.
Maybe its not.
I just want her to be satisfied and happy.
I’ve never been jealous before. Not like this.
I’ll keep giving her money to see you.
What choice have I got?
I can’t lose her.
I won’t lose her as long as she can go to Target.
Post a Comment